UCanMakeItIfYouTry – More Meaningful Relationships
TOP TIPS
We all want to have close, intimate relationships where we can be authentic and open with others. Sadly, many do not have that opportunity. You can change that by learning how to forge more meaningful relationships with these tips.
1 – Hang Around Those Who Have Similar Values
It is hard to develop deep relationships with those who do not share the same values as you. Find others who share similar values and nurture those relationships. You will discover you have much in common, strengthening the bond.
2 – Be an Active Listener
Your goal should be to listen with the intent of understanding what the other person is saying—not to give a response. Ask questions meant to engage interaction. You will build deeper bonds with someone when you listen as much or more than you speak.
3 – Be Intentional About Building Relationships
Valuable relationships take work. You have to be intentional about getting together. You need to open up some white space on your calendar to ensure you meet and engage with others.
4 – Make the Other Person a Priority
It would help if you prioritized other people’s needs. Prioritizing may mean putting aside some of your wants and desires for theirs. For example, it may mean staying up late to listen to them discuss their lousy day at work.
5 – Let Others Help You
Often people are hesitant to reach out for help. However, people want to help you; they just need the opportunity. When you need some help, ask for it, and return the favor by offering support. Helping each other will strengthen your relationship bonds.
6 – Accept Criticism with Grace
Few of us want to be criticized. Harsh words put us off and make us want to lash out or shrink back. Neither option encourages stronger relationships. Why not try a new tactic? The next time someone offers their “advice,” look at it as valuable feedback. Think about what they said, and reply thoughtfully.
7 – Be Authentic
Let others see your true self. It will be challenging at times. Fear of what others will think about us can be consuming. However, no one wants to have a deep relationship with fake people. A lack of authenticity leads to shallow relationships.
8 – Be a Safe Person to be Emotional With
Relationships deepen when both parties feel emotionally safe. Be that emotionally-safe person your friends and family can go to, and find those that will be a safe haven for you.
9 – Seek Out New People to Befriend
Brush up on your friend-making skills and head out to find others with similar interests. For example, you may join a book club or take up a sport. It’s never too late to meet someone new.
FAST-ACTION STEPS
1 – Practice active listening today. Call a friend and have a conversation in which you listen more than you talk.
2 – Text someone that you care about and schedule a meetup. Nothing beats some face-to-face time.
3 – Email a few friends and ask them to share strengths and weaknesses they see in you. Use that constructive criticism as feedback to grow emotionally.
- About the Author
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James Donaldson
Former Owner and Director of The Donaldson Clinic (an outpatient physical therapy clinic)
James completed a 20 year professional basketball career in the spring of 2000. James established The Donaldson Clinic in (January 1990 – 2018) (shortly after a career threatening knee injury) with an idea that he would eventually become a physical therapist. He is a strong advocate for Women & Minority owned businesses and is very involved with various Chambers of Commerce. He understands what it takes to sustain a strong business environment that is conducive to the success of businesses overall.
James is a Washington State University graduate (’79). After an outstanding basketball career with WSU, he went on to play professional basketball in the N.B.A. with the Seattle Supersonics, San Diego/L.A. Clippers, Dallas Mavericks, New York Knicks and Utah Jazz. He also played for several in Spain, Italy and Greece of the European Leagues plus toured with The Harlem Globetrotters to wrap up his career. James was an N.B.A. All-Star in 1988 while playing center for the Dallas Mavericks. In 2006, James was inducted into the Pac – 10 Sports Hall of Fame and also the Washington State University Athletic Hall of Fame.
He now devotes the majority of his time to various community activities, and toward the Gift of Life Foundation, speaking on mental health awareness and suicide prevention. James frequently conducts speaking engagements (motivational, inspirational, educational) for organizations, schools, youth groups and is the author of the published “Standing Above the Crowd” of which you can learn more about at www.standingabovethecrowd.com and is available for sale now.
In 2021, James published Celebrating Your Gift of Life: From the Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy. www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com
James is a 40+ year resident of Seattle. He believes in being a role model of success and professionalism for the scores of young people that he devotes so much of his time to. He currently serves on several Boards and/or committees and is a member of many organizations. (Please see complete listing on back)
James believes in developing relationships that create a “Win – Win” environment for everyone involved, and being the best he can be!
