UCanMakeItIfYouTry – How To Deal With Negative People
Negative people are everywhere. We have all dealt with a cranky coworker or a cynical friend. In either case, you need specific tools to help you handle these kinds of people. Here are nine tips to get you started:
1 Never Assume You Know Why They Are Negative
Never assume you know what is wrong with an overly negative person. Without more info, you have no idea what issue is causing a person’s negative outburst. Your assumptions won’t help the situation for anyone involved.
2 Listen to Them Without Judging Them
Sometimes negative people just need someone to vent to. If you care for the person, you should let them vent and try to offer helpful advice when asked. Don’t be afraid to set boundaries if it starts to negatively impact your mindset, though.
3 Limit Exposure to The Negativity
When you can, try and avoid dealing with overly negative people. You might not want to do this with your closest loved ones, but do you have to make time for everyone?
4 Avoid Placing Blame
You might want to tell someone to cheer up and stop being negative. This rarely works and often makes the person feel worse. It may take some extra effort but try to show them compassion and empathy. Caring and understanding are often what a person wants most.
5 Place and Maintain Boundaries
Having healthy boundaries helps you maintain both your own emotions and the relationship. While caring is important, you don’t have to be a doormat. Let people know what you will and won’t accept; if they care about you, they will listen.
6 Redirect the Conversation
Negative people sometimes stay trapped in their negative thinking. You may be able to help them come out of their negativity by redirecting the conversation towards something more neutral. Don’t dismiss their thoughts. Instead, acknowledge them and then move the conversation towards something more calming.
7 Keep Your Emotions In Check
It can be hard to be in the presence of a negative person. You may even lose patience and want to lash out. Your goal should be to respond kindly and with positivity. Getting upset will only cause more negativity for everyone.
8 Don’t Take It Personally
Often, overly negative people deal with issues you aren’t privy to. Even if you feel like you are the lightning rod for someone’s negativity, don’t take it personally. They are likely dealing with issues far more complex than their relationship with you.
9 You Might Need to Seek Support
If you notice that someone you care about seems to be growing more negative, you might need to look for support. Other friends, family, or even a professional might be able to give you some tips (or help) on addressing the situation.
FAST-ACTION STEPS
1 – Make a list of negative people you interact with. Is it possible to limit your exposure to any of them?
2 – Focus on yourself. Make sure you are taking the right steps to ensure you maintain a healthy mindset.
3 – Practice more empathy with negative people. Try to understand where the negativity comes from and what may be causing it.
- About the Author
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James Donaldson
Former Owner and Director of The Donaldson Clinic (an outpatient physical therapy clinic)
James completed a 20 year professional basketball career in the spring of 2000. James established The Donaldson Clinic in (January 1990 – 2018) (shortly after a career threatening knee injury) with an idea that he would eventually become a physical therapist. He is a strong advocate for Women & Minority owned businesses and is very involved with various Chambers of Commerce. He understands what it takes to sustain a strong business environment that is conducive to the success of businesses overall.
James is a Washington State University graduate (’79). After an outstanding basketball career with WSU, he went on to play professional basketball in the N.B.A. with the Seattle Supersonics, San Diego/L.A. Clippers, Dallas Mavericks, New York Knicks and Utah Jazz. He also played for several in Spain, Italy and Greece of the European Leagues plus toured with The Harlem Globetrotters to wrap up his career. James was an N.B.A. All-Star in 1988 while playing center for the Dallas Mavericks. In 2006, James was inducted into the Pac – 10 Sports Hall of Fame and also the Washington State University Athletic Hall of Fame.
He now devotes the majority of his time to various community activities, and toward the Gift of Life Foundation, speaking on mental health awareness and suicide prevention. James frequently conducts speaking engagements (motivational, inspirational, educational) for organizations, schools, youth groups and is the author of the published “Standing Above the Crowd” of which you can learn more about at www.standingabovethecrowd.com and is available for sale now.
In 2021, James published Celebrating Your Gift of Life: From the Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy. www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com
James is a 40+ year resident of Seattle. He believes in being a role model of success and professionalism for the scores of young people that he devotes so much of his time to. He currently serves on several Boards and/or committees and is a member of many organizations. (Please see complete listing on back)
James believes in developing relationships that create a “Win – Win” environment for everyone involved, and being the best he can be!
