UCanMakeItIfYouTry – 9 Ways To Destroy Trust
Trust is vital to all our relationships. Your spouse needs to trust you. Friends and family should know they can depend on you. Even your coworkers and colleagues need to trust you. Trust can be fragile, though. Certain actions can irreparably harm trust. Here are nine of them:
1 – Failing to Show Up on Time
It might seem small, but showing up when you say you will is critical. Always being late or not texting or calling when you say you will plants seeds of doubt as to your trustworthiness.
2 – Not Walking the Walk
Authenticity begins by doing what you say you will do. When you don’t, your partner or other loved ones will question everything you say. When your actions don’t line up with your talk, you are telling the world more than you think.
3 – Refusing to Admit Mistakes
You are going to be wrong once in a while. If you want others to trust you, admit when you are wrong. It’s better to admit you made a mistake than to play it off or push it onto someone else.
4 – You Don’t Listen to Others
Spacing out when someone is sharing their emotions with you hurts the relationship. If they cannot trust you to listen, they will be less likely to share, and the relationship will be damaged.
5 – Gossiping About Others
Spreading gossip may make you feel better about yourself, but it doesn’t do much for trust. If you are willing to talk about others behind their backs, what do you have to say about those closest to you? Can they trust you to keep a secret?
6 – You Have a Bad Temper
Do you lose your cool quickly? Do others feel like they must walk on eggshells around you? That’s not a good sign. It reinforces to your family and friends that you cannot be trusted to hear bad news.
7 – Too Many White Lies
White lies may be common for you, but that doesn’t mean your relationships won’t suffer. How can someone trust you if they know you will lie to get out of sticky situations? Dishonesty breeds mistrust.
8 – Refusing To Compromise
Give-and-take is needed in all relationships, especially romantic ones. If you are never willing to compromise, you tell others that your needs are more important than theirs.
9 – You Don’t Share Personal Matters
You don’t have to share everything with everyone. There are times and places to do so, but a lack of sharing can also put a wall between you and others. Walls can cause distrust.
FAST-ACTION STEPS
1 – Stop and consider how you may be subtly sabotaging your relationships. If you are always late, set an alarm to remind you to leave on time. Even 15 minutes early can mean much to others.
2 – Ask others to weigh in on your trustworthiness. It can be hard to hear what they have to say, but it will be worth it. You will know how others see you and make needed changes. Soon, your relationships will benefit as you become someone to be trusted.
3 – Take feedback and process it. If you are told that you have a hair-trigger temper, investigate strategies to control it. The goal is to take one piece of information and use that to change habits to become a trustworthy person.
- About the Author
- Latest Posts
James Donaldson
Former Owner and Director of The Donaldson Clinic (an outpatient physical therapy clinic)
James completed a 20 year professional basketball career in the spring of 2000. James established The Donaldson Clinic in (January 1990 – 2018) (shortly after a career threatening knee injury) with an idea that he would eventually become a physical therapist. He is a strong advocate for Women & Minority owned businesses and is very involved with various Chambers of Commerce. He understands what it takes to sustain a strong business environment that is conducive to the success of businesses overall.
James is a Washington State University graduate (’79). After an outstanding basketball career with WSU, he went on to play professional basketball in the N.B.A. with the Seattle Supersonics, San Diego/L.A. Clippers, Dallas Mavericks, New York Knicks and Utah Jazz. He also played for several in Spain, Italy and Greece of the European Leagues plus toured with The Harlem Globetrotters to wrap up his career. James was an N.B.A. All-Star in 1988 while playing center for the Dallas Mavericks. In 2006, James was inducted into the Pac – 10 Sports Hall of Fame and also the Washington State University Athletic Hall of Fame.
He now devotes the majority of his time to various community activities, and toward the Gift of Life Foundation, speaking on mental health awareness and suicide prevention. James frequently conducts speaking engagements (motivational, inspirational, educational) for organizations, schools, youth groups and is the author of the published “Standing Above the Crowd” of which you can learn more about at www.standingabovethecrowd.com and is available for sale now.
In 2021, James published Celebrating Your Gift of Life: From the Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy. www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com
James is a 40+ year resident of Seattle. He believes in being a role model of success and professionalism for the scores of young people that he devotes so much of his time to. He currently serves on several Boards and/or committees and is a member of many organizations. (Please see complete listing on back)
James believes in developing relationships that create a “Win – Win” environment for everyone involved, and being the best he can be!
