UCanMakeItIfYouTry – Ways We Give Away Our Personal Power
“Personal Power” is our ability to detach from the expectations and influence of others. Instead, we rely on our innate abilities, core beliefs, and values. Many of us struggle with maintaining this personal power. Too often, we give our power away by letting others negatively influence us. Here are 9 signs that you may be giving your personal power away.
1 – You Tolerate Things You Hate
A big part of life is putting up with the odd thing we don’t like to make a loved one happy. There is nothing wrong with that. However, constantly engaging in things you hate because you don’t want to speak up is a problem. You shouldn’t have to tolerate activities or people that you truly hate. Claim your personal power back by speaking up in this situation.
2 – You Don’t Speak Up When Something Is Wrong
Sometimes staying quiet to avoid an argument is a strategic move. However, if you find yourself always doing this, you might be negating your personal power. Not every battle is worth fighting, but everyone should be comfortable speaking up when their core beliefs are challenged.
3 – You Worry About The Opinions Of Others
We all have people in our lives whose feelings we should consider. This includes our closest loved ones, friends, and some other colleagues. However, you can’t constantly worry about what everyone thinks of you. Worrying too much about the opinions of random people is one of the biggest ways we dilute our personal power. What’s more important, your core values or what someone you don’t even know thinks about you?
4 – You Don’t Set Boundaries
An important part of a fulfilling life is setting healthy boundaries. When you refuse to set boundaries or let people walk all over them, you are giving away your personal power to them. Remember, if people care about you, they will respect your boundaries. “No” is a complete sentence, after all.
5 – You Complain About Other People Too Much
Do you find yourself constantly complaining, gossiping, or talking about other people? This is a sure sign that you give other people too much control of your personal power. Why would you waste your energy worrying this much about others when you could spend that time on your goals, self-care, or simply enjoying yourself.
#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space. #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson’s latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy
Link for 40 Habits Signup
bit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealthIf you’d like to follow and receive my daily blog in to your inbox, just click on it with Follow It. Here’s the link https://follow.it/james-donaldson-s-standing-above-the-crowd-s-blog-a-view-from-above-on-things-that-make-the-world-go-round?action=followPub
6 – You Let Others Call The Shots
One of the most common ways we give up our personal power is by letting someone else call all the shots. How can you feel powerful if you never make your own decisions? While staying in the passenger seat might be comfortable, we all need to take the wheel once in a while.
7 – You Don’t Listen To Your Gut Feelings
Do you trust yourself? People with a strong sense of personal power believe in their gut instincts. When you ignore your instinct or intuition, you imply that you don’t trust yourself. Learning to trust your hunches and instincts will help you gain personal power.
8 – You Change Your Goals Based On Other People’s Opinions
A big aspect of personal power is having goals that you work towards. Your goals should reflect your desires and values. If you allow other people to dictate your goals, are you really living life for yourself? You will have goals that people shrug off as silly or impossible, but don’t allow their negativity to rob you of personal power.
9 – You’re Hypersensitive To Criticism
No one likes to hear criticism, but if you become an emotional wreck after negative feedback, you give others too much control over you. Criticism is a normal part of life, and you can choose how you react to it. People with a strong sense of personal power will accept valid criticism while ignoring the untrue.
FAST-ACTION STEPS
1 – Think about what matters to you the most. What values do you hold most dear? What goals are most important. Use these as your guiding lights.
2 – Reflect on the last time you let someone else make a big decision for you. How did it work out? Do you wish things had happened differently?
3 – Have you been holding back doing something because you are worried about what people will think of you? Throw caution to the wind, and do it now.
- About the Author
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James Donaldson
Former Owner and Director of The Donaldson Clinic (an outpatient physical therapy clinic)
James completed a 20 year professional basketball career in the spring of 2000. James established The Donaldson Clinic in (January 1990 – 2018) (shortly after a career threatening knee injury) with an idea that he would eventually become a physical therapist. He is a strong advocate for Women & Minority owned businesses and is very involved with various Chambers of Commerce. He understands what it takes to sustain a strong business environment that is conducive to the success of businesses overall.
James is a Washington State University graduate (’79). After an outstanding basketball career with WSU, he went on to play professional basketball in the N.B.A. with the Seattle Supersonics, San Diego/L.A. Clippers, Dallas Mavericks, New York Knicks and Utah Jazz. He also played for several in Spain, Italy and Greece of the European Leagues plus toured with The Harlem Globetrotters to wrap up his career. James was an N.B.A. All-Star in 1988 while playing center for the Dallas Mavericks. In 2006, James was inducted into the Pac – 10 Sports Hall of Fame and also the Washington State University Athletic Hall of Fame.
He now devotes the majority of his time to various community activities, and toward the Gift of Life Foundation, speaking on mental health awareness and suicide prevention. James frequently conducts speaking engagements (motivational, inspirational, educational) for organizations, schools, youth groups and is the author of the published “Standing Above the Crowd” of which you can learn more about at www.standingabovethecrowd.com and is available for sale now.
In 2021, James published Celebrating Your Gift of Life: From the Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy. www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com
James is a 40+ year resident of Seattle. He believes in being a role model of success and professionalism for the scores of young people that he devotes so much of his time to. He currently serves on several Boards and/or committees and is a member of many organizations. (Please see complete listing on back)
James believes in developing relationships that create a “Win – Win” environment for everyone involved, and being the best he can be!
