UCanMakeItIfYouTry – Finding A Sense of Belonging
We all want to belong. We are hardwired to connect and interact with others. Because of this need, life seems less interesting when we feel like we don’t belong. A sense of belonging contributes to our emotional wellbeing. Here are nine tips that can help you find a sense of belonging.
1 – Make an Effort to Seek Others Out
Belonging requires some effort on your part. At first, it is going to feel uncomfortable to meet new people. Don’t let that stop you. Soon, you will become an expert at putting yourself out there.
2 – Remember that It Is Not All About You
It sounds harsh, but the reality is that engaging with others is a give-and-take relationship. As you seek out groups and people, it’s vital to focus on others. Make small talk that includes asking questions and then listening to them. Focusing on others helps in building relationships.
3 – Look for Meet-Up Groups
Belonging is not only about individual relationships. Look for personal and professional groups to join. Start by finding groups for a shared hobby or passion. It’s okay to be part of more than one group, too.
4 – Remain Open-Minded
Some of your pre-suppositions will be challenged as you try new activities and meet new people. This is good as it helps grow you as a person. So, keep an open mind as you build new relationships.
5 – Practice Acceptance of Others
We all have different ways of living and processing ideas. This shouldn’t stop you from interacting with others. Instead, look for similarities like your mutual love for the environment and focus on it instead of differences.
6 – Be Authentic with Others
While interacting with others and building community, be authentic. Relatability and authenticity build trust, which is vital in all relationships. When you are open and vulnerable, you are relatable.
7 – Be Patient with the Process
Finding the right groups and people to connect with is a process. It takes time to connect with others and gain their acceptance and support. So, don’t rush things. Embrace this time and learn from each experience.
8 – Encourage Others to Join In
As you build your sense of belonging, invite others to join you. Since you are familiar with the feelings of loneliness, you know how hard it can be to feel like you don’t belong. Encourage other people to step out of their comfort zones and join you in developing new relationships.
9 – Start Your Own Group
You may find a lack of opportunities to meet new people and build relationships. When this happens, consider starting your own group. Sometimes, all it takes is one person being willing to step out.
FAST-ACTION STEPS
1 – Make a list of your activities, hobbies, and interests. Next, research different groups in your area where you can join. It’s good to check in with your library or community center. They may be aware of happenings you can participate in.
2 – Head up a local group based on one of your interests if you cannot find one in the area. Others may be in the same boat. They want to meet new people but cannot find them to meet.
3 – Practice active listening. As you meet others, you will have many conversations. Remember to focus on the person you are talking to and ask questions. Make it a genuine give-and-take conversation.
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James Donaldson
Former Owner and Director of The Donaldson Clinic (an outpatient physical therapy clinic)
James completed a 20 year professional basketball career in the spring of 2000. James established The Donaldson Clinic in (January 1990 – 2018) (shortly after a career threatening knee injury) with an idea that he would eventually become a physical therapist. He is a strong advocate for Women & Minority owned businesses and is very involved with various Chambers of Commerce. He understands what it takes to sustain a strong business environment that is conducive to the success of businesses overall.
James is a Washington State University graduate (’79). After an outstanding basketball career with WSU, he went on to play professional basketball in the N.B.A. with the Seattle Supersonics, San Diego/L.A. Clippers, Dallas Mavericks, New York Knicks and Utah Jazz. He also played for several in Spain, Italy and Greece of the European Leagues plus toured with The Harlem Globetrotters to wrap up his career. James was an N.B.A. All-Star in 1988 while playing center for the Dallas Mavericks. In 2006, James was inducted into the Pac – 10 Sports Hall of Fame and also the Washington State University Athletic Hall of Fame.
He now devotes the majority of his time to various community activities, and toward the Gift of Life Foundation, speaking on mental health awareness and suicide prevention. James frequently conducts speaking engagements (motivational, inspirational, educational) for organizations, schools, youth groups and is the author of the published “Standing Above the Crowd” of which you can learn more about at www.standingabovethecrowd.com and is available for sale now.
In 2021, James published Celebrating Your Gift of Life: From the Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy. www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com
James is a 40+ year resident of Seattle. He believes in being a role model of success and professionalism for the scores of young people that he devotes so much of his time to. He currently serves on several Boards and/or committees and is a member of many organizations. (Please see complete listing on back)
James believes in developing relationships that create a “Win – Win” environment for everyone involved, and being the best he can be!
