UCanMakeItIfYouTry – 9 Times to Say No
Everyone should learn to say no. You may find that statement hard to swallow if you are a People Pleaser. If you struggle with saying ‘yes’ too much in your daily life, you will be less happy and more frustrated. Learn to regain your happiness by saying “No” more often.
1 – Expectations of Perfection
Whether it is your own or someone else’s expectation – perfection is a myth. Seeking to perform flawlessly does two things, it gives you an excuse to procrastinate and makes you miserable. Why constantly strive to attain perfection when it is impossible? Learn that great is good enough.
2 – Requests That Aren’t Your Responsibility
While it is nice to help people out once in a while, don’t be afraid to say “no” to requests that aren’t your responsibilities. This is especially important when you are crushed for time, or your own work is starting to suffer.
3 – Requests That Go Against Your Core Values
Everyone has their own personal code, and you must honor it. If someone is asking you to do something that goes against your core values, they either don’t know you or respect you enough to request something.
4 – Something You Can’t Follow Through On
If someone asks you to do something you know you can’t accomplish, then why say “yes”? You are only setting both of you up for failure. Be honest if you know you won’t be able to finish a task, and let the person know you can’t take it on.
5 – Things That Hold You Back From Your Goals
All of us have (or should have) goals in life. You need time, resources, and energy to reach these goals. If you give up too much of that for other people, your goals may suffer.
6 – When You Are Feeling Overloaded
If you are super busy with your own life, adding anyone else’s tasks to your list is borderline cruel. Burnout is a real thing, and if you are barely keeping your head above water with your own life, you simply can’t take on the burdens of others.
7 – You Feel Guilty
Saying “yes” should never happen just because you feel too guilty to say “no.” If it is a reasonable request that won’t impact you, it is fine to say yes. However, if the only reason you are saying “yes” is because you feel too uncomfortable saying “no,” then that is an issue.
8 – Demands of Toxic People
You likely deal with toxic people in your life. These are the type of people who manipulate you to meet their own needs. You should never cave to their demands, and you should limit your time spent with them, period.
9 – When Your Gut Tells You “No”
Sometimes we need to trust our subconscious. Intuition is a real phenomenon, and if your gut instinct is telling you to say “no” to someone’s request, you should listen.
FAST-ACTION STEPS
1 – Look closely at the above tips and choose one to start. Learn to say no in that area, and be on the lookout for ways you slip back into old habits.
2 – Reflect on a time you said “yes” and regretted it. Why did you say “yes”? How did it negatively affect your life?
3 – Think about if anyone in your life is currently taking advantage of you or your time? How can you address this issue?
- About the Author
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James Donaldson
Former Owner and Director of The Donaldson Clinic (an outpatient physical therapy clinic)
James completed a 20 year professional basketball career in the spring of 2000. James established The Donaldson Clinic in (January 1990 – 2018) (shortly after a career threatening knee injury) with an idea that he would eventually become a physical therapist. He is a strong advocate for Women & Minority owned businesses and is very involved with various Chambers of Commerce. He understands what it takes to sustain a strong business environment that is conducive to the success of businesses overall.
James is a Washington State University graduate (’79). After an outstanding basketball career with WSU, he went on to play professional basketball in the N.B.A. with the Seattle Supersonics, San Diego/L.A. Clippers, Dallas Mavericks, New York Knicks and Utah Jazz. He also played for several in Spain, Italy and Greece of the European Leagues plus toured with The Harlem Globetrotters to wrap up his career. James was an N.B.A. All-Star in 1988 while playing center for the Dallas Mavericks. In 2006, James was inducted into the Pac – 10 Sports Hall of Fame and also the Washington State University Athletic Hall of Fame.
He now devotes the majority of his time to various community activities, and toward the Gift of Life Foundation, speaking on mental health awareness and suicide prevention. James frequently conducts speaking engagements (motivational, inspirational, educational) for organizations, schools, youth groups and is the author of the published “Standing Above the Crowd” of which you can learn more about at www.standingabovethecrowd.com and is available for sale now.
In 2021, James published Celebrating Your Gift of Life: From the Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy. www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com
James is a 40+ year resident of Seattle. He believes in being a role model of success and professionalism for the scores of young people that he devotes so much of his time to. He currently serves on several Boards and/or committees and is a member of many organizations. (Please see complete listing on back)
James believes in developing relationships that create a “Win – Win” environment for everyone involved, and being the best he can be!
